Writing Your Adoption Profile Letter


The Letter: ‘Dear Expectant Parent’.

This is the step I save for last. I think it is the hardest. The Book is pressure. The Letter is something else. If you like tackling hard things first, start with the letter.

To my knowledge, most agencies use these letters as the first tool when an expectant woman is considering an adoption plan and choosing a family.  Our agency puts them in a three ring binder with other families.  As hard as it is to write the letter, I cannot even begin to understand how overwhelming it is for an expectant mother to be responsible for finding parents for her child by reading a letter.

The first time we made our letter, the result was kind of awful.  We poured out all of our hearts. Every time we tried to make it look pretty, we felt dumb. How do you cutesy up a letter so meaningful? Making The Book look pretty made sense. It’s an album. It has pictures by default. There were endless templates to help with the design.  (Spoiler: Use a template for your letter.)

Using what we learned from the last time, I found a template from Vista Print.  It was in the flyer section. We ordered right from Vista Print.  They had very fast shipping. I am very happy with the quality. However, if you use a flyer template, you have to order the minimum quantity required. (Yes, I have half a million copies of our letter.) After the fact, I found canva.  They have template options and you print at your own location.

A few tips:

  1. Breath. You can do this.
  2. You will not make it perfect. I just found a typo in our letter. 🙂
  3. Who chooses you will love it!

 

  • Please do not use our words or copy this letter in any way. The intention is to help other families find a starting point and inspiration.
  • If you would like more details about our letter, email me directly. chrischelse at gmail dot com

 

 


A Night of Hope, The Best Infertility Blogs


If you are familiar with infertility, you have probably heard of Resolve. If not, Resolve is the national infertility association.

Today, I learned about the 19th Annual Night of HOPE, specifically the Best Blog Award. The Best Blog Award is given to a blog written by someone who is living with infertility and whose blog posts raise awareness about what life is like when you’re faced with infertility.

I choose to share this here because when I was in the thick of infertility, I felt very alone. Infertility blogs were a safe way for me to connect with women who were like me. They provided hope, insight, and a glimpse of what my future could look like.  The women who chose to share their stories provided me with a guide to life with infertility. Here are the best according to Resolve. I spent the day reading through these. They really are amazing.

Femme Infertile

Excerpt from #StartAsking for Support In All Its Forms:

So for me… I want to #StartAsking for people to share their struggles, not just their successes. I want to #StartAsking for people to not get uncomfortable when I talk about infertility. I want to #StartAsking for better insurance coverage for infertility, as it is a disease. I want to #StartAsking for people to have empathy and compassion, and put themselves in other peoples shoes… because I would trade anything for your morning sickness… telling me how horrible it is, isn’t helping. I want to #StartAsking for the world to get educated on infertility, and acknowledge that it isn’t just a women-centric issue. Infertility affects men too! And men need just as much support! Read more.

 

One Breath Closer

Excerpt from We All Start Somewhere:

 I would also add that I’m open to talk. We have held this in for more than 10 years. I guess I would like to talk. About whatever. No bad questions. There are no, “should I have not asked?” questions. And if you don’t want to talk, that’s ok too. But encouragement is always appreciated. A hug, handshake, comment, wink, smile, “like,” whatever works. Read more.

 

On Prayers and Needles

Excerpt from #STARTASKING:

The more we open up and #startasking ourselves and others these tough questions, the more people will become aware of infertility and all it entails. Once more and more people #startasking, the dialogue can begin so that we (both those who have and have not encountered infertility) can better support one another. I shared my story to get the conversation going, so now I must #startasking, will you?. Read more. 

 

Shelley Writes

Excerpt from WHY I’M GRATEFUL FOR YEARS OF INFERTILITY:

The reality that we were now one of those couples — you know, the 1 in 8 who experience infertility — was almost too much of a burden to bear.

I felt like we had done everything right. We had good jobs. A beautiful home. We were paying off our student loans, and we were financially secure. We started asking ourselves, What’d we do to deserve this?. Read more

 

The 2 Week Wait

Excerpt from START ASKING: For Infertility Awareness Year Round

My point is PLEASE – Start Asking for awareness year round. When someone asks you why you don’t have kids, ask them if they’ve ever heard about infertility issues and then educate their fertile and innocently ignorant selves. Read more.

Finding really great quality blogs to read takes a lot of time! You can thank me later 😉


How to Make an Adoption Profile Book


After you decide to build your family through adoption, you are faced with seemingly endless paperwork, more doctor visits, finger printing, education classes, social worker visits, and the profile book.

The Book: It’s the first impression; a tool used for expectant parents to chose a family. No pressure. Just all of your hopes and dreams of becoming a parent. No pressure 🙂

Personally, I searched the internet for help when we were making our first book. I found a lot about being yourself. (Definitely be yourself) Everytime I saw a book, I either wanted to be them or I was glad I wasn’t them. I did find this which helped for what ever reason.

Here is how we put our book together:

  1. State your intention. For us this is similar to our letter or like the back cover of any book. Say why you are making this book.
  2. Start from the beginning. We take that as how we met/when we got married.
  3. Introduce yourselves. I realize that may be out of order but this is how it made the most sense to us.
  4. Decide what traditions you’ll have and who plays a large role in your life. Talk about that and why.
  5. Tell where you live. We talk about our house and our community.
  6. Tell personal favorite fun facts. Even though making this book is really stressful, after all of the hard parts are finished, it is really neat to see your life on paper with pictures. So by the end, I usually want to keep talking about myself and make sure I get everything out.
  7. Have a closing. We use the last page to reiterate who we are and that we are ready to love them and their child.
  8. Make an extra copy. You poured your whole heart into this book. Be proud of it. I know it was hard. Congratulations on completing another step!

One more thing: We use Shutterfly to print and create our books. They are kind of expensive and have the slowest shipping ever. The positive is that the program is very simple to use and they have templates with colors and decor built in.

 

 

  • This is the majority of our book. Some things have been removed for privacy.
  • Please do not use our words or copy this book in anyway. The intention is to help other families find a starting point and inspiration.
  • If you would like more details about our book, email me directly. chrischelse at gmail dot com